What do I do with myself now? I have recently semi-retired from my day job. I am surprised at how much I am struggling with this new phase!

I am lucky. I am able to partially retire now at age 57, with the intent to be fully retired next year. Don’t get me wrong…I appreciate that I am privileged to be able to do this. I know that not many people can. I don’t want this post to sound whiny or unappreciative of the position that I am in. I know I should be grateful and I am!

So, I’ve gone from working five days a week, to working one. And, when I say I worked five days a week, it wasn’t just a nine to five job where I would leave at quitting time and not think about the job again until I returned. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about work things. I watched my work emails after hours, just in case a client emailed and needed something. I cared about work and the clients that I helped. I still do. I felt capable and needed when I was at work.

My new role has placed me in the office as a helper and trainer, working behind the scenes. This is all good, but it is hard to shut off the worker that I used to be. Because I am no longer client facing, I no longer have to check emails regularly or be connected 24/7. I have much less responsibility!

I now have a lot more free time!

I have enjoyed the ability and time to work on the things that I have put off for a long time because I never seemed to have the time to do them. Cleaning and organizing stuff that have been long neglected, helps me feel like I am accomplishing something! I look around me today and I see a lot more of these ‘projects’ so I know I have lots I can be doing.

We’ve (Kevin has retired too) joined the gym! This has been great to give me a goal and some place to be. But, going to the gym only takes an hour a day! That leaves a lot of time left to dedicate to something.

This is where I am struggling. At work, I felt needed, confident, accomplished, fulfilled. How do I find that now that I am on my own?

I am blessed that I can now be here if the kids or grandkids need me, and yes, that is fulfilling and gives me a lot of pleasure. There is nothing like quiet time spent with these people that I love.

What I am missing perhaps is a sense of purpose. This unfortunately, isn’t easy to find. It, I sense, is going to take some soul searching and some experimenting. My plan is to take it slow, think about what matters to me, find the things that I enjoy. There are some things I know for sure:

I need to spend time in nature! Spending time outside helps to rejuvenate and refresh me. It centers me and grounds me, giving me time to just be… to breathe. To this end, I hope to get out and do a lot of walking and exploring this spring and summer. Anyone want to join me? Maybe we can start a walking club! We can get out and walk some of the great trails around here and at the same time, get to know one another better. I also plan to do some regular kayaking at the cottage. Maybe take up paddle boarding! My gardens at home and at the cottage could also use some much needed attention!

I need to be creative. This blog is part of that process for me. I want to keep it going. Kev and I have a big trip to Europe coming up soon so watch for blog posts about our escapades! As a kid, I used to love to draw and write. I hope to reconnect with that inner child and will sign up for a drawing or painting class when I am back from our trip.

I need to get and stay healthy. We hear so many stories of people retiring and then getting an illness that sidelines them or God forbid, kills them. I want to do everything I can to get healthy. This has been a crazy year of viruses and colds and covid. I need to make sure I am getting exercise, eating well and doing what I need to help keep me healthy and mentally sharp. What that all means is that I have to get way more disciplined with myself, while also having a healthy balance of fun!

I need to give back. I have been so blessed in my life. Others have not. I plan to find a place that I can volunteer where I can be of use to those less fortunate. Perhaps, this above others, will give me the purpose that I am looking for.

I need to connect with family and friends. These connections are what makes life worth living. So much of life is spent busily working and going from one task to another. I need to slow down, take time for a lunch, a walk, a visit with family and friends. Life is short. In the end, these connections are what matters the most.

As I adjust, experiment and try new things, I will keep you posted! Perhaps, my experiences will help someone else who is struggling to adjust to a life change, like retirement.